


jkmemeing posted

by noxic



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), M/M, Nonsense, OT3, Slow Burn, Social Media Fic, Tumblr Discourse™, tumblr format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22475359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxic/pseuds/noxic
Summary: Jared chronicles Connor and Evan's burgeoning relationship on his tumblr blog after they inexplicably become friends. Shenanigans, shipping, and teen romance ensue.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman/Connor Murphy
Comments: 10
Kudos: 76





	1. a humble memer enters stage left

**Author's Note:**

> i realized i always write dramatic vent-fic and start complicated emotional storylines that i dont like following through. so here's a break from that where it's just some fun times with some nonsense drama mixed in for good measure.

**jkmemeing**

so theres this guy at school whos like, notorious for being a total creep and,,, i think he’s hanging out w/ my friend???

_tagged: jared-talk, i mean its not like its my business but wtf r u doin man, is it possible 2 b worried and apathetic at the same time cuz……, no???, oh, welp  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

went over 2 friends house 2 play video games and creepy guy was there??? what to heck

_tagged: jared-talk, concern grows greater every day but as long as ev doesnt get murdered i guess its fine??, if this lasts longer than a week i’ll have 2 start a tag just for them, LMAO  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

its been like 9 days lmao whos ready for an update on evan and creepy guy

turns out what happend is ev (my friend) wrote sum creepy shit in his diary about creepy guy’s sister and cg found it l m a o talk about a first meeting

but ev was just being an innocent loser so cg took pity on him and they started hanging out?? idk how they got from a to b but not my business i guess

cg has been at ev’s house every day for the last week practically, and ev won’t tell me what they do without me there (╯°益°)╯彡┻━┻

ANYWAYS ev doesnt fucking tell me shit but updates will come as ASAP as possible stay tuned folks

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, i'm trying to pry info but all he's willing 2 say is that they've been "hanging out", and "connor isnt that bad", cg's name is connor btw  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

ok at the request of a bunch of salty anons i wont call connor "creepy guy" anymore

just know that i like respect yalls feelings and stuff but yall dont know this guy like i do lmao

regardless i get it, i'll stop in all future episodes of the convan chronicles

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, seriously u guys have no clue...., he got suspended in the 2nd grade for throwing a printer at a teacher, IM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP_  
  


**jkmemeing**

holy fucking shit so apparently people r actually tracking the convan tag i thought i was talking to an empty room lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, I WAS FUCKING JOKING R U GUYS SRS, WELP I GOTTA GIVE THE PPL WHAT THEY WANT RIGHT_  
  


**jkmemeing**

so i've stopped counting the days but its been a couple weeks since ev and connor started "hanging out" and we're finally allowed to be in the same room. ev used to just tell me he was busy when connor was over so i wouldn't show up, or vice versa. but now we're both invited to his house?? i guess his cast from his broken arm just came off and his mom wants 2 celebrate...?

as of right this moment, ev has left the room to call his mom for a status report, leaving me and connor alone. he's just like staring into space like some emo fuck contemplating mortality or smth. ev, why'd u leave us alone

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, we've been sitting in silence for like 5 minutes, do i say something??? who fucking knows lmao  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

ok so ev's mom isn't coming to this celebration y i k e s which means we're all alone together. we're ordering pizza. connor looks pissed. updates to come.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, maybe when he snaps he'll go for evan first since theyre physically closer  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

connors still a scary motherfucker but he hates pineapple on pizza so at least i know he's not totally crazy lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

WHOA RED FUCKING ALERT *KILL BILL SIRENS* CONNOR ACTUALLY LAUGHED WHAT THE FUCK

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, IT WAS LIKE A SHITTY SARCASTIC LAUGH BUT HE WAS ALMOST SMILING??, UNPRECEDENTED_

**jkmemeing**

ok liveblogging is done for the night, we just watched a movie played video games and ate pizza it was super uneventful

BUT, i will say that connor drives a sick ass car and i'm jealous that ev's ass has definitely been in it b4. i saw connor give him a ride after school the other day.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, HE DRIVES A FUCKING LEXUS GUYS ITS SILVER  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

dude i've gained like twelve followers since i started posting this dumb shit about connor and ev??? what the fuck lol

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles  
  
_

_Anonymous: It's been a few days since you've posted about those friends of yours, are they still hanging out?? (i know thats dumb yikes @ myself i just gotta know...)_

**jkmemeing**

lmao yeah they're still "hanging out" whatever the fuck that means.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, when did i stop being a musical theater blog LOL, you guys just want me for my friend drama  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

convan update: i think they're fighting?? ev was alone by his locker today.....i'll see if i can figure out whats goin on.....hopefully the tea isn't too hot for this thread tbh

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

ok so it turns out the tea is just the right temp for you convan freaks lmao

i guess what happened is connor showed up to school high as a fucking kite and said some dumb shit to ev so now ev feels awkward LOL

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, am i evil for laughing at his suffering??, maybe but this is stupid suffering so what the fuck lmaooooo_

__

**jkmemeing**

ABORT ABORT STUPID SUFFERING TURNED INTO REAL LIFE DRAMA WOOPS *KILL BILL SIRENS*

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, connors sister talked to ev about connor in the hallway and apparently he had a panic attack wOOPS_

__

_qu33n-bix: hey sorry for bothering u but what ever happened with ev after he had a panic attack?? is he ok????_

**jkmemeing**

holy fuck i still can't believe ppl are following this clusterfuck but yes lol ev is fine. its just a thing that happens sometimes.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, should i be concerned that my follower count just tipped over 400 after staying stagnant at 340 for like three years???, dont tell me this is all for the convan bs, do yall know how hard i work on my book of mormon analyses_

__

**jkmemeing**

update: the convan friendship is alive and well after two days of awkward avoidance and listening to panic-rants on ev's couch

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

sup dudes, just wanted to let u guys know i just clocked in 420 followers so someone who doesn't have asthma pls blaze it up on my behalf thanks

_tagged: jared-talk, i'm gonna choose to believe that my sudden influx of followers is because of my insanely cool pride selfies and not just my friend's stupid personal life_

__

**jkmemeing**

:::::SPECIAL ALERT FOR ALL THOSE FOLLOWING THE CONVAN CHRONICLES:::::

[stalkingmychildhoodfriend.jpg]

(p.s. if u can't see the pic for any reason it's connor and ev walking at the park near my house and they're both smiling??? like real actual smiles??? what the fuck)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, I'M ACTUALLY DEAD, connor is an emo fuck i thought he was physically incapable of smiling wtf_

__

**jkmemeing**

i literally hate all of u guys omg but thanks for getting me to 500 followers l m a o

_tagged: jared-talk, THIS IS BECAUSE I POSTED THAT PIC OF CONNOR AND EVAN, LISTEN GUYS I KNOW THEY'RE PRETTY BUT UR HURTING MY FEELINGS, that pic got like a thousand notes but i've never had a selfie get more than like twelve??? what the fuck_

**jkmemeing**

A real text thread between me and Ev:

 **ev:** What do you do when your friend finds something out about you that you didn't want anyone to know?

 **me:** what, like when u told accidentally told me u had a crush on connors sister back in the 10th grade

 **ev:** Nevermind bye.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan-chronicles, i'm only tagging this for the convan thing bc i'm super extra sure connor is the friend ev was talking abt LOL_

__

**jkmemeing**

my askbox is full of ppl asking for more pics of ev so here u go:

[evangetsreallyfocusedwhenstudying.jpg]

but thats it so back tf off you vultures

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, i know ppl are gonna want updates on connor at some point too but fuck that he'd probably kill me just for the one pic i already posted XD_

**jkmemeing**

The Convan Friendship has entered month 2 guys this is NOT a drill

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

listen, i know theres a lot of controversy about shipping real life people but dont tell me every one of u fuckers isn't here to do exactly that

which is why u can't judge me for kinda hoping convan becomes canon tbh

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, listen he's my friend i can do whatever the fuck i want, it's not like i'm making things weird for him about it so fuck off_

__

_beautyngrapes: given your opinion on convan as a romantic ship, how do you feel about people making fanart or stuff about them???_

**jkmemeing**

uhhhh i know i said i ship it but maybe don't??? he's still my friend irl omg don't make this weird  
  


_coaleesie684_ : _dude ur the one liveblogging your friend's budding relationship are we really going to talk about weirdness here_

**jkmemeing**

|| _Anonymous: isn't it already weird..._

|| _Anonymous: wtf just let ppl be creative whats wrong with that???_

i was just having fun but if y'all can't handle hearing hot goss about real people without trying to fictionalize them then idk what to tell u, maybe i should just stop talking about them lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, asks, answered, anonymous, coaleesie684_

**dicecream91**

Guys, I know a lot of people followed @jkmemeing explicitly for the convan story, but please try to be mature!! I know that might sound weird since it's just listening to him talk about his friend's love life, but enjoying some harmless gossip about a stranger and being a creep are two different things!! Making fanart of real people without their consent, especially if it involves romantic/sexual stuff?? SUPER not okay. Jared is already threatening to remove his posts about Convan if y'all can't keep it together. Please respect him and Connor and Evan enough to abide by this simple request.

**jkmemeing**

honestly? tea.

**jkmemeing**

pssst guys i'm not deleting any of the chronicles posts btw, just please don't ruin this fun little thing for me and everyone else. thanks.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

we now return to our regularly scheduled lurking on my bff's social life (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

i've been trying to hang around the two of them more lately but i dont think connor likes me v much. understandable. BUT, i'm determined to make him like me. i WILL befriend the basket case even if it KILLS me.

unfortunately they're both super fucking boring so all they do is shit like take walks and talk about books and homework and shit (they have ap lit together apparently...?) but i really dont know what the fuck else they have in common.

figuring that out is on the to-do list right after making connor admit that i'm not his least favorite person in the world. more to come at some point tonight.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

@ the anons sending me death threats for calling connor a basket case: pls take a deep breath and go outside cause clearly u need some fresh air

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, if your response to something u dont like is to send death threats, consider this: dont_

**jkmemeing**

.

_tagged: umm i know this whole "document the connor/evan friendship as it happens" thing was supposed to be fun, but i just found out they're going somewhere after school but i wasn't invited, so question: what the fuck, dont reblog //, personal_

**jkmemeing**

evan just left my house after coming over for the first time in a while, and i figured i should share some discoveries with the good ppl of the internet:

\- apparently they went to some super secret meeting place that connor knows from his childhood but wants to keep a secret

\- i asked evan why he smelled like pot and he flipped his shit because apparently he told connor he didn't mind if he smoked while they were in the car and didn't realize he meant weed, but was too embarrassed to say anything after that so he just let him do it L M A O

\- he had to leave in a borrowed shirt so his mom didn't flip out too

\- evan is way skinnier than me and therefore the borrowed shirt was baggy and visually pleasing to my innocent gay eyes

\- ev still wouldn't tell me what they did out at Fort Secret Childhood Memories And Current Potential Makeout Spot but he seemed happy (except about the weed) so i'll take that as a good sign.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, connor is such a stoner holy fuck, how the fuck did this friendship happen i'm DEAD, ev is such a straight shooter omg_

__

**jkmemeing**

@ all the ppl filling my askbox asking if i've got a crush on evan: the answer is no(t anymore)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, listen ok, middle school was a weird time, but i dont like him now, that doesnt mean i cant appreciate his cuteness tho so fuck all of u_

**heir0of0d1ck**

Your Fave Is Problematic: @jkmemeing

-openly admits to shipping real people

-takes stalkerish pics of people and posts them without their consent

-talks about his """""friend""""" like he's a fictional fucking character in a goddamn musical and not an actual human being

-constantly making ableist remarks about the other half of his gross """""ship""""" even tho its obvious he knows shit all about mental illness

-sexualizes his """""friend""""" without his consent

Keep this gross asshole off my dashboard pls and thanks

**jkmemeing**

So, someone just sent me the link to this post by @heir0of0d1ck calling me out for being "problematic" and boy it was a doozy. Let me go ahead and address some of what was said about me because I can handle being called a gross asshole, but not for the reasons listed in the post lmao:

|| _openly admits to shipping real people_

It's not like I'm making fanworks. It's just wishful thinking that my best friend will find a relationship with this dude he's obviously getting close to? Also you can look here and here if you want examples of me encouraging people NOT to do creepy shit like making shippy fanart or fanfics about them???

|| _takes stalkerish pics of people and posts them without their consent_

Um. Ok. I took two pictures. Of two people. Who I know in my real fucking life. One of whom is my best friend. Who I regularly post pics of across various social media platforms. Sure, he didn't know about those specific pics, but he knows I put him on my IG feed sometimes and doesn't really care if I snap a pic every now and again?? Cause we're _friends_???

|| _talks about his """""friend""""" like he's a fictional fucking character in a goddamn musical and not an actual human being_

I don't even know what you're talking about here. I talk about Evan like I'd talk about any other person in my life. Tbh, this just feels like you're trying to find ways to use my blog's regular content- aka musical theater shit -to insult me because you don't like me.

|| _constantly making ableist remarks about the other half of his gross """""ship""""" even tho its obvious he knows shit all about mental illness_

"knows shit all about mental illness" i've got depression you presumptuous jackass. wanna see a fucking doctor's note? and even if i didn't, i think it's a pretty big leap from calling someone i know IN REAL LIFE a basket case in an obviously joking way to strangers on the internet to saying i hate disabled people. where's that gif of inigo montoya when you need it???

|| _sexualizes his """""friend""""" without his consent_

hey, me finding my friend-- _yes, my friend who i've known since we were fucking born_ \--attractive isn't "sexualizing him without his consent" and throwing around buzzwords to make it seem like i'm some giant fucking force of evil determined to do harm to my REAL LIFE ACTUAL FRIENDS WHO YOU HAVE NO COMMUNICATION WITH AT ALL is the most neo-lib tumblr bullshit i've seen all year.

if you can show me one time when i've actually harmed anyone- apart from not catering to _your_ sensibilities on _my_ personal blog -then we can talk. but until then, fuck off with this callout post bs.

_tagged: jared-talk, long post, callout post, heir0of0d1ck, response, i like how this person is acting like they're coming to connor and evans' defense as if they're actively being hurt by me blogging about them lmao, yeah i'm the worst person ever cause i posted a couple innocent pics of my friends smiling??? fuck you_

_Anonymous: That was a pretty brutal response to that call out post! Don't you think it was kind of....idk, harsh?_

**jkmemeing**

|| _Anonymous: dude u dont gotta b a dick just ignore the hate every1 gets it sometimes_

|| _Anonymous: just because evan doesn't mind u taking pics for instagram doesn't mean he would be ok with it if he knew what u were doing with them here on tumblr!!_

|| _Anonymous: lmao this whole convan bullshit is still creepy you gross fuck_

are y'all done yet lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, asks, answered, anonymous, can all of u ummmmmmm fuck off :)_

_lapsocxie: hey i just wanted to let you know that i'm on your side with this whole callout post thing. it's not cool to do that to someone just cause you don't like what they're doing. it's not like you're some kind of evil villain jfc._

**jkmemeing**

|| _Anonymous: fuck the person who made that callout post honestly_

|| _Anonymous: holy no fun allowed zone batman. jesus christ i can't believe they tried to call you a sexual predator for a harmless comment about finding someone attractive. #yikes_

thanks guys. something tells me that support will come in handy from here on out. i dont plan to derail my entire goddamn blog just cause some tumblr rando thinks i'm """problematic""" so everyone can jot that down.

_tagged: jared-talk, asks, answered, anonymous, lapsocxie  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

ev: you're really focused on your phone, jared. is everything ok?

me, trying desperately not to throw my phone through the wall in frustration: yeah no everything is fine just adding to my blog :)))

_tagged: jared-talk  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

lmao okay so its only been a day since that callout post started circulating and things have been pretty heated since then, but who fucking gives a shit about THAT drama when you can focus on the fact that evan got invited over to connor's house for dinner tonight :)c

obviously i'm not going but i should hear all the hot deets when ev gets home and inevitably texts me everything that happened >;)c

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

  
**jkmemeing**

you know you're tumblr famous when you get anon hate in your inbox at least five times a day :)

_tagged: jared-talk, the person who made the callout post also had a fuck ton of followers so the drama actually ended up getting me some sweet publicity, i just passed 700 so thanks for that xoxo_

  
**jkmemeing**

:::EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP, THIS IS CRITICAL:::

like there are actual kill bill sirens going off inside my head right now lmao i had to fight the urge to type this in all caps because its gonna be kind of long.

so as u all know tonight was the night of ev's visit to connor's house for the first time to meet his family. what u guys dont know is that ev showed up early because anxiety is a bitch, ended up hanging out with connor in his room. obvs i cant tell u the details of the conversation but i was shocked and dazed, truly fucking amazed because apparently connor is capable of expressing positive feelings towards other people?

jk, y'all have already seen the smiley pic. but ANYWAYS, apparently they were talking about books or something and connor made an actual joke that wasn't about morbid shit and evan laughed and it was really awkward all around (ev's words, not mine). then after they had dinner connor's dad basically gave evan a talk about being a strong postive influence on connor.

(((lmao what if he finds out about the time with the weed in the car?? holy fuck guys omg)))

and then connors sister who evan had a crush on back in 10th grade had to ride in the car when connor took ev home because his parents wanted to make sure he actually came back that night instead of crashing on ev's couch (apparently he does that sometimes??? who fucking knew)

obviously theres a lot of details i can't divulge (doctor patient confidentiality B)c sorry) but holy fuck even just that much of the story was such a wild ride.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, i feel like i learned so much omg, this was such a hashtag milestone lol_

**  
jkmemeing**

STOP ASKING FOR MORE PICS I DONT HAVE THEM

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

_  
_ **jkmemeing**

NEVERMIND BITCHES LOOK WHO CAME THROUGH FOR YOU

[OHMYGODYOUGUYS.jpg]

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

__

_lazr-t-3am: IS EVAN WEARING CONNOR'S FUCKING HOODIE???_

**jkmemeing**

YES

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, ask, answered, lazr-t-3am, HE WAS LIKE THAT PASSED OUT ON THE COUCH WHEN I FOUND HIM THIS MORNING, HE FLIPPED HIS SHIT WHEN I WOKE HIM UP BUT IT STILL TOOK HIM LIKE TEN MINUTES TO NOTICE THE HOODIE, i'd like to thank this boy for my life_

  
_mr-yesss-man: dontcha think its kinda creepy to take pics of someone while they're asleep in their own home?_

**jkmemeing**

not when you've known each other since before you could walk. besides, im sure we'll look back on this one day and have a nice ol laff :)))

_tagged: jared-talk, ask, answered, mr-yesss-man_

  
**jkmemeing**

when you accidentally make ur bff famous on tumblr but nobody remembers that your original thing was talking about broadway musicals :)))

_tagged: jared-talk, pls reblog my book of mormon post my crops are dying  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

THAT SERIOUSLY WORKED WHAT THE FUCK

_tagged: jared-talk, i asked....and i received??, thanks guys for the notes_

_  
_ **jkmemeing**

:::Development in Jared's Attempt to Befriend The Ex-Loner:::

ok so lemme drop some context rl quick. b4 connor, me and ev used to sit together at lunch. when connor showed up, it became a hit or miss whether evan would go hide with him in the library or something or if he'd show up to sit with _me_ in the cafeteria. well today ev was absent (he got a sinus infection last night :/) so i was like "welp guess i better find a secluded spot in the caf and prepare for a whole lot of awkwardly watching videos on my phone to keep myself busy while i eat" BUTBUTBUT

connor actually approached me in the halls BEFORE lunch and asked if i wanted to sit with him in the library during lunch. ME. i didn't even need evan to get a foot in the door holy fuck.

it was kind of awkward ofc bc we don't usually hang alone together? but he was mostly just quiet and did his own thing, reading a book and listening to music while i ate lunch.

i wonder if this is the kind of shit he does with evan??? does that mean he's comfortable around me at long last??? holy shit guys i'm so hyped i can't believe this

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, CONNOR IS AN OKAY GUY, idk if we're actually friends yet but it feels like maybe we're on our way there? idk yall i really dont know_

_  
_ _futchy-snacktastic: how come u didnt try to sneak a pic of connor in the library? dont u care about us at all???_

**jkmemeing**

i think if i tried to do something that obvious he'd actually rip my arms off lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, ask, answered, futchily-snacktastic, plus i'd lose all my friendship points and have to start from scratch lmao_

_  
_ _elph4b4-0f-4v4l0r: you post a lot about musicals and you seem to know what you're talking about. did you ever do theater in high school?_

**jkmemeing**

fuck that lmao i like not getting my ass kicked on a daily basis (but tbh i've gone to theater camp every summer since i was six and i think acting would be a really cool profession)

_tagged: jared-talk, ask, answered, elph4b4-0f-4v4l0r, it took me an entire minute to decipher your url so thanks for that lmao, i feel like i need to start tagging "not convan", lmao, about me_

_  
_ **jkmemeing**

CONVAN ALERT, CONVAN ALERT: THE FRIENDS HAVE REACHED THE SLEEPOVER STAGE

THIS ISN'T A DRILL PEOPLE. ev just texted me like two minutes ago saying that he's staying the night at connor's house tonight.

"but jared," i hear you cry. "doesn't connor stay the night at evan's house all the time? you said so right here!"

yes. but this is the first time connor has gotten evan to sleep over at his place!!!

ok, so maybe it's not that big a deal to you guys. but as someone whos known evan for a while, it feels like a big deal to me. and as someone who knows for a fact that connor likes his privacy A LOT, this feels like a giant leap for bestfriend-kind. :')

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, fuk guys i'm so proud,,,,_

_  
_ **jkmemeing**

lmao does someone want to explain to me how i'm almost to 800 followers...

_tagged: jared-talk_

_  
tipping---panda5: Hey, Jared! Love your blog. I was just curious, do you ever sing?_

**jkmemeing**

lol yeah, i guess. you guys already know i'm a huge musical nerd.

**tipping---panda5**

do you think you'd ever be willing to post a video of urself singing???

**jkmemeing**

i guess so? i dont see why not

Source: jkmemeing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have like three or four chapters of this ready 2 go but its not 100% done yet :/


	2. sleepover saga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trio antics trio antics trio antics

**jkmemeing**

Sleepover Updates: the Road So Far

\- ev has arrived. he's in connor's room. connor has offered to fire up the xbox. they're gonna play call of duty. ev is probably going to eat shit because he has literally no hand-eye coordination to speak of L O L

\- connor's mom is making them dinner, and even tho ev doesn't actually keep kosher, apparently she freaked out when she found out he's jewish and is now trying to rearrange their meal to make it kosher for him. he appreciates the effort, but really doesn't give a shit tbh. she didn't listen.

\- connor apparently has lots of books which isn't surprising cause it's never surprising when quiet kids are bookworms.

more to follow as soon as ev answers his damn text messages lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, the Sleepover Saga, thats what this specific thread is called now sorry i dont make the rules, oh wait  
  
_

  
**jkmemeing**

Sleepover Updates: part 2

\- ev managed to convince connor's mom not to scrap her entire lasagna plan just for the sake of not giving him meat and cheese in the same meal. it was difficult, but eventually connors dad stepped in and helped him out.

\- connors dad is really scary, apparently, in an indescribable way that evan refuses to try and articulate

\- connors sister stayed in her room the whole time but he could hear her playing guitar thru the walls and was #shook. then connor banged on the wall and she stopped.

both of these dudes are such trainwrecks omg (but especially ev)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, the Sleepover Saga_

**jkmemeing**

!!!!!!!!!

i've literally never hated evan more than right this very moment oh my _god_.

its just after 2am and apparently connor just fell asleep, and ev managed to snag a pic of him lookin all relaxed and snuggly in his own bed. and he sent to to me. but....

....i've been sworn to secrecy :) no one but he and i will EVER see this goddamn adorable ass picture

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, the Sleepover Saga, FUCK ALL OF YOU GUYS OMG, ev is unintentionally the most savage person i know, foRGIVE HIM BUT HE KNOWS NOT WHAT HE DOES_

_  
_ **jkmemeing**

thERE ARE 91 MESSAGES IN MY ASKBOX PLE _EASE STOP_

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, the Sleepover Saga, im not posting the pic u guys lmao stoppp  
  
_

  
**jkmemeing**

most of these asks are angry capslock and keysmashes lmao i'm not responding to any of that shit u guys

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, the Sleepover Saga_

_  
_ **jkmemeing**

ok so now that connor is asleep evan is probably going to follow soon and nothing else fun can happen. thus ends the sleepover saga :') it was nice while it lasted

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, the Sleepover Saga, hopefully we can do this again someday :')))_

**jkmemeing**

OR WE CAN DO IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK

ITS LIKE 7AM AND EV JUST WOKE ME UP WITH THIS PIC

[twosleepingidiots.jpg]

apparently connors sister went to see if connor was awake yet and got a pic of them both while they were still asleep :'))) she woke ev up and he asked her to send him the pic after he had his inevitable anxiety attack over being confronted by his long-time crush while still in his pjs fresh from sleep

AND OF COURSE HE FORWARDED IT TO ME BECAUSE I'M HIS BFF FOREVER

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, the Sleepover Saga, literally god bless connors sis, and GOD BLESS EVAN FOR KNOWING WELL ENOUGH TO PLACE THIS IMAGE INTO MY HANDS 8)c_

  
**jkmemeing**

thanks for getting me to 800 my dudes B)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, follower count, i'm at 821 in case anyone was curious_

  
**jkmemeing**

would any of u seriously be interested in hearing me sing? i know most of u are here for the convan thing

**trangsbenjer**

umm...fucking yes?? i was following u way before the convan thing and i'd be super down to hear ur voice

**jkmemeing**

[lookatallthosenotes.jpg]

i guess ppl agree XD i'll work on putting something together. if you've got a song suggestion, hmu

Source: jkmemeing

  
**jkmemeing**

some anons came through earlier asking about convan fanart again, and i'm sticking with a firm NO on whether i'll accept that. you'll be blocked if you try to submit convan fanart to me. not only are none of us 18 yet, but i've already talked about how that shit is creepy and not permitted on this blog. don't get the tumblr police called on me again for some shit i didn't even do.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, don't fucking do it guys i've already told you_

**jkmemeing**

quick update: connor just texted me. i never gave him my number? he probably got it from evan. that's fine, but i was supes confused because why tf would he want to text me??? he barely tolerates me

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, it just says 'hey *lastname*' in case u were curious_

**  
jkmemeing**

EXTRA UPDATE BC I'M SCREAMING

some of you may remember how a while back i was all bent out of shape because connor and ev went to some super secret Cool Place and didn't invite me. GUESS WHO JUST GOT A FUCKING INVITE BITCHESSSS.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, i still don't know where we're going but they asked me to come and thats good enough for me_

_  
_ **jkmemeing**

so...hey guys. it's been a little over two days since i last posted on this blog, and that's because some shit went down at the Super Secret Cool Place that i didn't really expect.

so apparently the two of them wanted to take me there so we could talk about some heavy shit. it's really personal stuff that i won't repeat on this blog--or anywhere, for that matter--and all you guys need to know is that everything's fine and nobody's hurt. but i really felt like i needed some time away from all of this to absorb what we talked about.

with that in mind, i should tell you guys that i will be resuming pretty normal blog activity within the next day or two. i just need a moment to regain my balance after everything.

please don't try and guess what this was about. i don't want conspiracy theories or rumors flying around (not about this, at least). just trust that everything is okay at the moment. don't stress on it.

(and please don't blow up my askbox with questions either)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, announcement_

  
**jkmemeing**

<https://youtu.be/O1vEqmUVaNY>

You guys asked, and so you shall receive. Hope I did it justice!

_tagged: jared-sings, not convan_

**jkmemeing**

Holy 1,000 followers? What the fuck happened??

**kingconvan420**

u blessed us with the voice of an angel

Source: jkmemeing  
  


  
**jkmemeing**

do u guys think it would be a good idea to start a youtube channel? like for singing vids and whatnot

_tagged: jared-talk, jared-sings, not convan_

**jkmemeing**

ok so my askbox is literally completely full mostly of messages saying 'fuk yea go to youtube' so i guess thats a thing that's happening at some point

_tagged: jared-talk, jared-sings, not convan_

**jkmemeing**

lmao convan update: all three of us are at my place playing this survival video game and i was being dramatic like "guys i'm lost i guess i'll die" and connor recommended that i look at the trees for moss to see which way was north.

idk if i've mentioned this but ev is passionate about very few things, but he's SUPER into like trees and wildlife and stuff. and he's like "well ACTUALLY" and proceeds to school connor on how different growing conditions can lead to moss on any side of a tree. long story short, they got into an argument (ev's rly passionate abt trees).

possibly the funniest shit ever. evan NEVER fights like that with ppl (except me) and connor hardly says ANYTHING so it was kinda like watching two baby giraffes try to have a fistfight standing on their hind legs. it was over fast. there was much laughter.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, i'm literally ded these guys r 2 much_

  
_alischaladybugg: hey jared, a while ago you mentioned having depression. any tips for someone recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety?_

**jkmemeing**

Normally I'd just say something stupid, like "welcome to the club, here's your jacket" but in light of recent events, I'm actually gonna try and be serious here.

Mental illnesses fucking suck. Even though I was relieved when I got my diagnosis and started my medication, I still hated the fact that I had to live with this thing constantly feeding off me--every part of me--for pretty much the rest of my life. It made me angry, and the anger only turned into hopelessness, and that got dark real quickly.

I'm not the only one, obviously, and I'm not even the only person I _know_ who's gone through that sort of thing. With all our experiences in mind, the only thing I can think to tell you is to not isolate yourself. It can be really fucking hard sometimes to defy your illness and do what needs to be done to make sure you stay safe--believe me, I know. But you have to push yourself to do it. Communicate with your doctor or your therapist or whatever medical professional you have access to. Talk to your parent(s), your friends, your other family members. Don't bottle shit up inside, because that only makes things worse.

At the very least, it's important for other people to know when you're hurting so that you can get the help you need to move on from there. Don't try to suffer in silence. Like, if you had a broken arm, you'd probably scream like hell, right? Because you need people to know that you need help. Mental illness is the exact same way.

Don't be afraid to let someone know when you're in pain. Let people in. Always remember that no matter what, someone will come running if you really need help.

Good luck, and know that I'm rooting for you.

_tagged: jared-talk, mental illness, depression, jared's happy fun time corner  
  
_

  
**jkmemeing**

convan update: everything i know is a lie

connor is a hufflepuff. evan is a slytherin.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, my world just got flipped the fuck upside down, how is that possible?!?!?!  
  
_

  
**killuyassss**

can you guys believe jared is not only an incredible singer but also wrote a super well-worded account of what depression is like for him and how he copes with it just because a follower asked for a tip?? when will ur fav ever??

**genjicily----spade**

oh please. he's got a mediocre voice at best and anyone can write three paragraphs of "just power thru" bs

**babjockspockcock**

tbh that last ask just felt super cringey and like...performative to me. "you're not alone!!" thanks sharon just what i need to hear from some middle class white teenager lmao

**kiluyassss**

what are u talking about?? he's an actual person with depression, and he gave that person exactly what they asked for? advice on how to deal with the issues he's been living with for who knows how long. sorry if you can't tell the difference between "performative" and "emotionally provocative" smdh ~~~~

**becksedaglitch**

even without assuming his background, i think its interesting that you think being from a middle class family means he isn't a Real Mentally Ill. hate to break it to u guys, but depression doesn't give a shit if your family has two cars and a 401k.

**jkmemeing**

every time people assume shit about my personal life i die a little inside lmao

Source: kiluyassss

  
**jkmemeing**

convan update: connor painted evan's nails

[thisfuckingnerd.jpg]

in other news i've ascended 2 a higher plane of existence

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, they're blue omg_

**jkmemeing**

@ everyone asking if i got my nails done too

[umoffuckingcourse.jpg]

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, who do u fucks think i am_

  
**jkmemeing**

[EvanSaysHi.mp4]

hey everyone say hi to evan

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, i cant believe i actually got him on camera this is amazing_

  
**jkmemeing**

not to be too gay but connor and evan are both unfairly attractive this has been a psa

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

[attemptedmurder.mp4]

local boy assaulted someone call 911

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, if you cant watch the video for any reason, its connor chasing me down the sidewalk cause i tried to ambush him with my selfie cam, it was for snapchat :'(, he didn't appreciate it_

_yiffmolastics: oh my god i wasn't prepared for connor's voice asdfghjkl_

**jkmemeing**

normally i'd say 'hell yea amirite' but he was threatening me and y'all are laughing :(((

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, jk, but seriously wheres the loyalty lmao_

  
  


_karkarapist-tigre: no loyalty when it comes to convan_

**jkmemeing**

good point lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

_  
  
_

_supercaliginousbixtch: alls fair in love and convan_

**jkmemeing**

MOOD

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

_  
  
_

_killoasis72: u either die a shipper or get killed by your ship there is no other way_

**jkmemeing**

tHATS NOT WHERE I THOUGHT THIS ASK WAS GOING OMG

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

_  
  
_

_mmmmmmmilkymlm: it wud b a privilege 2 b murdered by connor_

**jkmemeing**

im just a child pls save me

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

movie night at my place with the lads!!

[secretselfiefeaturingconvan.jpg]

oh and for the record: i thought connor would b ALL about horror movies. apparently he likes action?? but like really dumb overblown action with like bruce willis lmao

(evan doesnt like action movies but hes gonna watch them anyways for connor. when will ur fave ever??)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night_

  
  
**jkmemeing**

evan jumped at every shootout/explosion scene in the a-team but survived anyways

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night, rip evan_

  
  
**jkmemeing**

CONNORS SISTER JUST SHOWED UP OMG EVERYONE IS THIS FACE 8Oc

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night, SHE BROUGHT KETTLE CORN_

  
  
**jkmemeing**

GOD BLESS ZOE SHE BROUGHT PRIDE AND PREJUDICE ON DVD

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night, APPARENTLY ITS ONE OF CONNORS FAVORITES I'M FUCKING P ISSING_

  
  
  
**jkmemeing**

lmao so zoes sitting on the ground next to me while connor and evan sit on the couch and she's just shit-talking mr darcy every time he comes onscreen i think evan is going to combust

(ps connor has informed me that if i dont stop using my phone during the movie hes going to shove it up my asshole so i'll report back l8r my dudes)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night_

_  
  
_ **jkmemeing**

p&p just ended and i'm finally allowed to use my phone again lmao

UPDATE: pizza is being ordered. connor and evan are still on the couch. i think they're getting closer to each other #suspicious

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night_

**jkmemeing**

stop fucking asking me about pineapple pizza okay i already told u guys i'm not touching this discourse again

_tagged: jared-talk_

  
  
**jkmemeing**

PIZZA WITH PALS

[pizzaparty.jpg]

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night, for the record they're only letting me take pics bc its a special occasion lmao_

**jkmemeing**

third movie of the night is x-men bc we're all marvel trash l m a o

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night_

_  
  
_ **jkmemeing**

CONVAN UPDATE HOLY FUCK THEY'RE SITTING REALLY CLOSE I THINK THEY'RE CUDDLING

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, KILL BILL SIRENS_

  
  
**jkmemeing**

god i wish i could get a fucking pic of this dudes.......evans literally leaning his head on connors shoulder this ship is so fucking real

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night_

  
  
**jkmemeing**

EV FELL ASLEEP

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night_

  
  
**jkmemeing**

oh my fucking god u guys i'm...ded

so the movie ended and zoe went to ask what we wanted to do next but EV WAS STILL ASLEEP AND CONNOR SHUSHED HER

he made us leave the room so he could wake evan up lmao, we're standing in the kitchen waiting for the all clear

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night_

_anonosty: do you think convan is going to be like a real relationship or is it just wishful thinking_

**jkmemeing**

dude atm your guess is as good as mine i thought it was mostly wishful thinking but nOW I'M NOT SO SURE

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, ask, answered, anonosty_

**  
  
jkmemeing**

Movie Night Final Update: zoe decided to head out early and we set up the living room for optimal comfort while i expose the other two to the beauty of the national treasure movies B) unfortunately i fully expect them both to fall asleep before we get to see book of secrets so thats a shame

status report: convan

\- no talk of the cuddling has happened yet and probably wont

-they're back on the couch and i have a feeling more cuddling will take place as soon as the movie starts

if anything cool happens i'll jump back online but for now that's all folks see ya tomorrow

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, Movie Night_

  
  


**shastalucidityvibe**

when will our lord and savior @jkmemeing drop his album pls my crops are dying

**jkmemeing**

no album yet but im gonna do another cover tomorrow after ev and connor leave

**shastalucidityvibe**

ASADF;JP;GWEOJ:POQASIOCJ

Source: shastalucidityvibe

**jkmemeing**

[theworstselfie.jpg]

this just in: connor is still a fucking asshole

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, in case u can't see the pic, THE FUCKER DREW A DICK ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP, apparently NERDS dont need sleep like the REST OF US, he was up at like 5am i swear to god like wtf, i came into the kitchen for cereal and my mom inhaled her coffee_, _i'll fucking get him back one day u guys just wait_

  
  


**jkmemeing**

SORRY I WON'T BE RECORDING MY NEW COVER TODAY SINCE _SOMEONE_ DREW A GIANT DICK ON MY FACE *POINTED LOOK AT THE CONVAN TAG*

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, jared-sings, EXCEPT JARED DOESNT SING WHEN HES GOT PENIS SHARPIED ON HIS CHEEK_

  
  


_hanshotrimshot: when do you think you'll do the new video if not today??_

**jkmemeing**

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_tagged: jared-talk, ask, answered, hanshotrimshot_

__

**jkmemeing**

my uncle: so i hear you got a new tattoo

my mom: *ugly laughter from the other room*

_tagged: jared-talk_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know i never actually thought i was into sincerely three but then one day it all just clicked


	3. in which gay teens are gay teens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coming out and other gay shenanigans

**jkmemeing**

its been like three weeks since i hit 1,000 followers and i'm sitting at a solid 1,400 so thanks for that

_tagged: jared-talk, follower count, i know that probs sounds sarcastic but 400 followers in three weeks is so cool i'm dying, it took me three years to get to 340 and now, started from the bottom now were here_

**jkmemeing**

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF8XPzJe1Yg>

boop :)

_tagged: jared-talk, jared-sings, its been a few days and the sharpie is finally gone thank fuck_

**jkmemeing**

i...just passed 2,000 followers 8-Ic

_tagged: jared-talk, follower count, holy shit_

_  
_**jkmemeing**

ev: why do you keep looking at your phone so much?

me: oh...no reason

_tagged: jared-talk, IM STARING AT MY FOLLOWER COUNT ON TUMBLR MOBILE_

_  
_**jkmemeing**

connor got grounded so ev is all mine for the next few days >:-)c

 _tagged: jared-talk_, _i'm not gonna do anything weird i just want to introduce him to book of mormon , and maybe les mis while i'm at it, not convan_

**jkmemeing**

EVAN HAS BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME!!! I ASKED IF HE'D SEEN LES MIS AND HE PULLED OUT A FUCKING DVD COPY OF THE MOVIE AND I ASKED IF HE'D HEARD OF BOM AND HES SEEN THE FUCKING BOOTLEG ALREADY

_tagged: jared-talk, not convan, ok so the sad thing is that he thought i would tease him for liking musicals, which i guess kinda reflects badly on me as a friend, bUT ITS OK BECAUSE NOW WE CAN BOND OVER THIS_

**jkmemeing**

update: saw connor at school today and asked if he'd ever seen les mis

he said "isnt that the movie with wolverine and the princess diaries girl"

_i'm livid_

_tagged: jared-talk_

_  
_ **jkmemeing**

@ everyone in my askbox defending connor : fuck you

_tagged: jared-talk, these hoes aint loyal, B'(_

**jkmemeing**

connor is still grounded so me and ev are going to watch the wicked bootleg at my place after school today

_tagged: jared-talk, btw i asked zoe why connor is grounded and guess fucking what, apparently he got caught smoking weed in the house, apparently his parents are fine with just ignoring it unless they SEE him doing it_

  
**jkmemeing**

:::CONVAN UPDATE:::

"but jared," u may be thinking. "connor is grounded and ur with evan today, so how could there possibly be a convan update??"

8-)c

so i was talking to ev abt theater camp and mentioned that he should try doing something theater related after high school if he likes it as much as he says, and he admitted that hes always thought about acting even tho hes too anxious to really try it out

and i was like "maybe u could be one of those guys who uses music to come out of ur shell or smth" and do u know what this fucker said to me

"connor said i have a good singing voice but idk"

*KILL BILL SIRENS* WHAT THE FUCK??? he can sing?? he was singing for CONNOR???? WHAT THE FUCK???

AND NOW HE REFUSES TO SING FOR ME ALSO I'M SO MAD

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, EVAN WHAT THE FUCK, NO ACTUALLY CONNOR WHAT THE FUCK_

  
**jkmemeing**

update: evan says that if i sing for him he'll sing for me but i have to make it good or he'll call it off

_tagged: jared-talk, what a cheeky bitch, as if i'd ever sing badly >:(_

  
**jkmemeing**

I SANG MY UNFORTUNATE ERECTION ON THE SPOT AND HE TURNED BRIGHT RED

_tagged: jared-talk_

_Anonymous: what the fuck is my unfortunate erection?? please tell me its a song_

**jkmemeing**

omg of course it is. i'll do a cover and post it like tomorrow or something.

_tagged: jared-talk, ask, answered, anonymous_

_Anonymous: wait so we need an update did evan ever sing for you???_

**jkmemeing**

unfortunately my best and most dearest friend needs some time to prepare which means i probably wont hear it for like a week lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, ask, answered, anonymous, i'm not gonna fucking forget tho thats for sure_

**jkmemeing**

so apparently ev and connor send emails back and forth? what the fuck is this 2007 lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, on the one hand who tf does that but on the other hand evan does that soooo, lmao  
  
_

**jkmemeing**

GUYS REMEMBER HOW YESTERDAY EVAN SAID HE'D SING FOR ME

HE FUCKING DID IT _TODAY_ WTF I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO TAKE LIKE FOREVER

AND HIS VOICE. IS. FUCKING. BEAUTIFUL.

8')

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO BRING HIM ONTO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL ONE OF THESE DAYS, AND THEN YOU'LL ALL OWE ME YOUR LIVES_

**jkmemeing**

@ everyone asking if i've got recording of ev singing--OBVIOUSLY NOT

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, STOP ASKING, I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT EITHER_

**jkmemeing**

.

_tagged: remember how i said i dont have a crush on evan anymore, welp, that was before i knew he could sing like a literal angel, except now im not sure if i ever WASNT crushing on him so i mean, like maybe i just wanted to think i didn't like him anymore?? idk, its confusing and i dont want to talk about it but i needed to get it off my chest, don't reblog //, personal //_

**jkmemeing**

ev was out sick again (undisclosed reason this time but he assures me hes fine) so me and connor hit up the ol' library lunch spot (TM)

i was expecting it to go just like last time where we mostly just like ignored each other slash enjoyed(?) each others company but?? he actually talked to me this time??

at first it was awkward like how r u? hows...class? but then we actually talked about like, real stuff yk like how hes getting along w/ zoe and how she and ev are becoming closer friends and whatnot

minor update also because i asked (i felt the need to confirm??) connor if he considered us friends and he was just like "uhh yeah i mean unless you don't in which case no fuck you" but the fact of the matter is that we're actual real life friends and not just because of evan guys i'm so fucking happy :)))))

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

.

_tagged: connor is so fucking unfairly cute also this is pissing me off, if any of u reblog this i'm deleting my entire blog, personal //, don't reblog //_

**00--arielingmyveins--00**

i cant believe anyone is still following jkmemeing's convan bullshit even tho its been like 3 months i'm calling hacks

**connorucopiano**

dude whats ur problem?? i thought this discourse was over...

**jkmemeing**

the discourse never ends dude sorry to break it 2 ya

**00--arielingmyveins--00**

hi can u get the fuck off my post pls thx

**jkmemeing**

it...was a post literally about me?? that you tagged me in???

[confusedmathlady.jpg]

Source: 00--arielingmyveins--00

**jkmemeing**

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBu8J7Sn1_4>

boop

_tagged: jared-talk, jared-sings, for that anon who asked about this song when i mentioned it a couple days ago_

**jkmemeing**

ev was out again because hes still sick so me and connor sat together again. todays convo was...interesting

so apparently he wanted to ask about me and ev? like how long weve known each other and whatnot. but tbh....it felt like he was asking something else?? like if we ever dated or anything like that??? he kept beating around the bush tho so he didnt really ask but thats what it felt like he was getting at

it was...an interesting development

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TELL HIM ABOUT MY MIDDLE SCHOOL CRUSH, or my current one i guess but it doesnt matter cause no one is allowed to tell him_

**jkmemeing**

I'M SCREAMING

apparently connor sent evan an email from the computer lab at school asking if we'd ever dated before and whatnot l m a o

ev called me practically screaming and i ended up just going over to his place. @ connor what the fuck dude lol

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, no one is allowed to say what we're all thinking ok_

**jkmemeing**

connor skipped school today?? and evan is on his last day of bedrest so i was all by myself >:( what the fuck guys??

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

another day of connor skipping but at least ev was here with me :') kind of fucking stupid that the con-man skipped a friday of all things tho lol

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, we're thinking about going to his house after school, maybe zoe will give us a ride_

**jkmemeing**

I GET TO RIDE IN ZOE'S LEXUS OMG

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, its just like connors except zoes is black_

**jkmemeing**

update: connor was hotboxing the shit out of his room which is ironic considering he was confined there for smoking in it in the first place. fortunately his dad has been away on business and his mom is p lenient on him so he didn't get Extra GroundedTM

unfortunately, ev flipped his shit at the smell and had to physically go outside so he didn't have an anxiety attack so me and zoe had to drag him out of there alone and put him in the shower to sober up (he'll probs be mad about that later when he's not totally stoned)

current status: connor is sleeping on the couch downstairs with his head on evan's lap while the four of us watch criminal minds reruns in the living room i'd send a pic but even i'm not that evil since connor is still high aka not in a state to stop me lmao

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

_Anonymous: is connor really ok?? it sounds like he got really fucked up with the weed isn't that really dangerous??_

**jkmemeing**

lmao he's fine we left him with his mom like an hour ago and he was still alive

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, ask, answered, anonymous_

**jkmemeing**

since today (saturday) is the last day connor is grounded his mom said me and ev could come over in the evening and spend the night 8-)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, zoe is having a friend over as well so hopefully thats not awkward, idk who it is tho_

**jkmemeing**

[evangroceryshopping.jpg]

please witness this loser try to decide between two types of chips in the middle of the grocery store aisle

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, i seriously thought he was going to have an aneurism, eventually i was like "dude just get both" and his face just lit up, jfc dude omg_

**jkmemeing**

ok so apparently the girl zoe is having over is this girl from my/connors/evans grade and not zoes?? wtf

_tagged: jared-talk, i mean ok but???, its kinda weird cause i've seen her like in class sometimes_

**jkmemeing**

:::SLEEPOVER HAS COMMENCED:::

\- chips: opened

\- xbox: hooked up

\- cute boys: in attendance

i'll try to snap some pics of the proceedings as they move along :)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_

**jkmemeing**

::update::

remember this?

[theworstselfie.jpg]

well, I have enlisted help to ensure i get my revenge TONIGHT

the plan is for zoe and evan to get connor all riled up at some point during the evening so that by like 2 or 3 am he's ready to pass out yk from expending all his energy. then once he's out, the dick drawing will commence. then zoe will let me lock myself in the guest room to sleep so he can't get me back :)))

prepare urself, asshole

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_

**jkmemeing**

hey check out these nerds being cute

[nerdsbeingcute.jpg]

(if u cant see the pic it sucks 2 be you--i got connor laying his head on evan's lap again except he's flipping off the camera aka me)

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_

**jkmemeing**

ev: how many followers do you have again?

me: uh...some. not that many tbh.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2, THE REAL ANSWER IS 3,112 SO THANKS FOR THAT OMG_

**jkmemeing**

connor: i dont believe you're good enough to have any followers let me see your blog

me, looking at the convan tag i've maintained for like 3 months: uh....no......probably not...haha

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_

**jkmemeing**

.

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, connor is wearing a white t shirt with a hoodie and blue plaid pajama bottoms what the fuck, someone please kill me he's cute and i'm too gay for this_

**jkmemeing**

we're breaking out the party games :o

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2, alana has never played cards against humanity and neither has evan this will be fun_

**jkmemeing**

I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT EVAN TO SAY "A BIG BLACK DICK" OUT LOUD I'M DEAD AND MY LIFE'S PURPOSE HAS BEEN FULFILLED

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_, _IT WAS THE CARD I PUT DOWN HALLELUJAH_

**jkmemeing**

so connor's mom just came in and gave us a "talk" about how girls need to sleep in one room and boys sleep in another and she doesn't want any funny business "or else" and literally as soon as she walked upstairs alana was like "well i'm actually a lesbian" WHAT THE FUCK LMAO SHE'S SO NONCHALANT

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_

**jkmemeing**

UPDATE I TOLD EVERYONE I'M GAY I'M OFFICIALLY OUT ACROSS THE BOARD Y'ALL PRAY FOR ME

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2, ZOE AND ALANA LAUGHED AT ME LOL_

**jkmemeing**

CONNOR IS GAY YOU GUYS ITS OFFICIAL HE SAID IT AND HE SAID IT'S NOT A SECRET AND THEREFORE I'M CONFIRMING IT RIGHT HERE AND NOW

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2, he said his parents "know" but they dont talk about it and apparently he doesnt necessarily, try to hide it at school yk, the only people he doesn't really tell are his extended family but i'm assuming thats not a prob here_

**jkmemeing**

AWKWARD "WAIT YOU'RE GAY?? WOW OKAY THATS FINE I GUESS THANKS FOR TELLING ME I'M NOT JUDGING YOU" ALERT

i seriously thought evan knew though i thought they were being intentionally gay??? but i guess he just thought they were being """friendly""" classic EvanTM

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_, _ this is so awkward holy shit, apparently me n connor are on the same page like "dude didn't u know???", but he seriously didn't poor kiddo_

**jkmemeing**

akward coming-out session over: commence xbox and everyone asking why i'm on my phone so much when literally all of my immediate friends are in this living room

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_

**jkmemeing**

:::UPDATE:::

ok, so it's like almost 4am and connor just fell asleep about twenty minutes ago. the dick has been drawn, i'm currently hiding in the guest room next door to zoe with the door locked. also hiding underneath the bed for good measure.

evan was also asleep and was NOT in on this plan so i'm really hoping things go over ok. since it's connor i didn't use actual sharpie either its just expo marker aka washable but hopefully he doesn't realize until after i get a video/pic/something

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_, _ GOODNIGHT EVERYONE I'M GOING TO SLEEP_

**jkmemeing**

[attemptedmurderpt2.mp4]

[connorbreaksdownadoor.mp4]

[itsjustexpodude.mp4]

[justwashitoff.mp4]

a collection from my snapchat story everybody feel blessed now *prayer hands*

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_, _in order the videos are: immediate reaction , connor literally breaking down the door to the guest room to get me, his reaction when i tell him its not sharpie, and me laughing while he washes it off in the bathroom_

  
  


_catsoclimaxxine: THANKS FOR SHARING CONNOR'S BEDHEADED SELF WITH US WE OWE U EVERYTHING_

**jkmemeing**

I'LL START COLLECTING PENANCE IN A WEEK

|| _@lazulazullaroja: HIS PJS ARE SO CUTE U WERE RIGHT_

I KNOW

|| _@panpanpandasneezlez: i saw your reflection in the bathroom mirror and YOU'VE GOT CUTE BEDHEAD_

awwwwwwwww thanks <3

|| _@my-heartandimmortal-x: hOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR DEATH THREATS TO SOUND SO HOT_

I DONT KNOW DUDE HELP ME

Source: jkmemeing

**jkmemeing**

sleepover was a success except now we have to go to breakfast because we're teenagers and its sunday morning wtf else would we do

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_

**jkmemeing**

so i thought i was gonna take ev home since we live close together but APPARENTLY NOT

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, The Sleepover Saga Part 2_, _how did evan not realize how pointedly gay connor is at all times_

_Anonymous: just because they're close and connor is gay doesn't mean theyre gay for each other you sick freak maybe stop oversimplifying gay guys for your entertainment? fuck you_

**jkmemeing**

I'M LITERALLY A GAY DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH EVAN

CONVAN UPDATE:

ok so apparently they talked about the whole "connor is gay" thing after everyone dispersed from our sleepover fun times. he said connor was like "does that make u uncomfortable?" and ev was like "aren't U uncomfortable?" because i guess he thought since people know connor is into dudes they might assume things about him and evan and thats literally the worst scenario evan can think of in his mind

and connor was like "so what if people think we're a thing?? you can just tell them we're not if it's a problem for you?" and the conversation sort of faded out BUT EVAN IS NOW FREAKING THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE HE DIDN'T LIKE WHERE THEY ENDED THE CONVERSATION

like, i know that logically that could totally just be a feeling of like, "eh that wasn't a v statisfying conversation" but my stupid brain is stuck on it like, THEY NEEDED TO TALK MORE ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND SHIT BEFORE THIS CONVERSATION ENDED

like at this point its not even shipping anymore its justs frustration lmao communication has never been these boys' strong suit and now it's having real life consequences LMAO

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

pssst in case you guys forgot, i run a BoM discord server.....the link is on my about page *pointed stares*

_tagged: jared-talk, book of mormon, bom, dont come in there if u just want to talk about convan tho this is strictly about bom_

**jkmemeing**

hey guys u know whos adorbs

**cunningcellistinoz**

you??

**jkmemeing**

I WAS TALKING ABOUT EVAN BUT THANK YOU ILYSM

source: jkmemeing

**jkmemeing**

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXE3TM-fRd8>

boop :)

_tagged: jared-talk, jared-sings, me reading the tarot: will i ever sing a serious song, the tarot: bitch tf u mean lmao_

**jkmemeing**

@ everyone asking me if i'll have evan guest star on my youtube channel soon: no

_tagged: jared-talk, jared-sings, jk but seriously i'm not gonna push him for that no way, if he ever decides he wants to then sure but not till then, could be never :)_

**clapon-castoff-strapon**

@jkmemeing singing "forget the fucking cookie" is my religion

**pillstopp-er**

teeeeaaaaa

**cantabysssian**

personally i go for his face during the first "it wasn't me" after "crossed the goddamn line" tbh

**clapon-castoff-strapon**

TEEEEAAAA

**jkmemeing**

awww glad u guys liked it

**clapon-castoff-strapon**

ASL FJ;AG0peo jsodogopwDPOV'PAEGJK

Source: clapon-castoff-strapon

  
  


**jkmemeing**

omg guys i was mostly joking the other day but i think evan is having a real actual sexuality crisis holy shit

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, what the fuck dude omg, i'm gonna back tf off this topic for a moment while he figures his life out_

  
  


**jkmemeing**

I'M DYING AND HERE'S WHY: CONNOR ASKING ME FOR ADVICE ABOUT EVAN

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_, _its nothing saucy he just wanted to know how to read ev's habits , stuff that i'd know better yk B)_

  
  


**jkmemeing**

I'M EXTRA DYING AND HERE'S WHY: EVAN ASKING ME FOR ADVICE ABOUT CONNOR ON LITERALLY THE SAME DAY I TALKED TO CONNOR ABT EVAN WTF

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_, _THIS SHIT IS GETTING SO WILD WTF IS THIS , is this literally days of our lives what the fuck_

  
  


**jkmemeing**

.

_tagged: tbh the funniest part about this whole convan advice scenario is that i literally dont know how to deal with my own feelings at all, like they want help dealing with feelings and stuff right, like holy shit dudes, u could not have picked a worse person to help u with that...._

**jkmemeing**

evan: uhhh i like it when he laughs? i want to make him laugh more often

me: *already excusing myself from the room to scream and post this*

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_

**jkmemeing**

connor: so you guys don't like lean on each other and stuff?? i thought that's what friends do???

me: *trying and failing not to laugh because he's literally trying to justify wanting to cuddle his bff as just a "friend move"*

 _tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles_, _listen i know some friends do it but evan is so not a cuddler , BELIEVE ME I KNOW, AND NEITHER IS CONNOR WHO IS HE TRYING TO FOOL_

  
  


**jkmemeing**

these two are literally so socially deprived they dont know the difference between friendship and romantic feelings and honestly? same

_tagged: jared-talk, the convan chronicles, the tea is too fucking hot on this one, ive never related to evan more in my whole life_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm realizing now that my post formatting might be dating me a bit. are there still people out there who remember when tumblr posts were formatted like this??? hello???


End file.
